Plans to meet at LAX "nixed"

Querida Familia,

I love you so much! I'll be honest though, this letter is a  hard one to write. As conflicted as it's made me, I'm glad you let your plans "slip out" about coming to LAX to hang out with me during my layover there.  As much as I would love, love, love to see you, and as much as I love you, I love the Lord and I love you too much to inadvertently "sign off" on your plan by giving you my itinerary, flight numbers, etc.  On my travel plans it specifically says, "family and friends should not plan to see you off at the airport or at the MTC".  Unfortunately, there is no grey area or loophole there. Another thing, when we arrived at the MTC, our President gave us a little talk about temple walks.  He told us that if our family or friends come to find us and want to be with us or walk with us etc. we are supposed to shake their hand, tell them we care about them, and that it's good to see them, but that we are missionaries now and can't stay and talk etc.... Then send them on their way or walk away. We need to stay focused. I guess over time, rules have changed and gotten stricter and there's no grey area now - the lines are clear. It would absolutely kill me to see you in LAX, realize what you must have done to find me there, and then still have to shake your hand (or give you a hug) and then walk away.  I AM a missionary now.  I belong to the Lord, and my loyalty is to HIM before anyone else.  So, as much as I truly hate to do & say this, I will not be sending you my detailed itinerary.  The lines have now been clearly drawn and it would not be true to everything you've taught me to knowingly and purposely cross them.  I'm going to be the "foolishly stubborn" one who - even when I have a golden opportunity to rest and enjoy the wonderful relieving feeling of "taking my pack off" and momentarily relieving the burden - will not take off my pack early or before reaching my destination/goal.  Instead, I want to be able to say that I was obedient, and went the whole 18 months with out seeing my family (not just 16 1/2), and I want to feel the full effect of having dutifully carried my pack the whole way, every last step, and FINALLY reaching the end to feel the overwhelming joy and relief of taking my pack off FOR GOOD!  because I did it!  Because I made it ALL THE WAY! ...in true Davis style! 

I do love and appreciate you more than I could ever express. You mean the world to me but if there's one thing I have learned from you, its that when it counts, Davis' always do what's right and Davis' always do their best to be the ones that the Lord can always trust and rely upon to do what is right! ...even (& especially) when it's difficult.  I am doing my best to do that now and to live up to my  name and potential.  Another thing that I have learned in the MTC is  that, "obedience brings blessings, but EXACT obedience brings miracles".

Again, I love you so much, and I miss you so much it kills me! I am really having to learn and practice really relying on my Savior. I am learning and practicing laying my burdens at His feet (biggest of which is being away from the best family in the universe), then forgetting myself and losing myself in the work.  I know the Lord will bless us for our obedience...100 fold!

All my love, respect, & appreciation,

Hermana Davis